There
are different situations occurring in the thoughts and around every individual
or group that can trigger either positive or negative emotional response or
demeanor. Emotions such as love, hatred and disappointment may last for years
but anger, happiness and praise may last for few minutes depending on
surrounding circumstances. This week I would like us to walk through the
antidote needed to deal with one of the temporal end result of negative emotional
response; ANGER!
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not
the sun go down upon your wrath. Ephesians 4:26
Get angry, but don’t sin
God
in His word permits us to get angry; because looking at the world around us, it
is probably impossible to live without someone stepping on your toes, or you
stepping on the toes of others. Petty grievances about our family members,
friends, colleagues at work and brethren at church may cause us to express
anger; but the word of God although saying “It’s
ok my child, I know you are dust.(Psalm 103:14)’, prescribes an antidote
for dismissing the long-term effect your anger can have on your life and that
of others if not controlled.
The
negative effect of anger that brings about sin starts with whining and complaining.
When you are unhappy about something, it is not the time to go through in your
mind, what was said and what shouldn’t have been said. Instead it is the best
opportunity to practice silence. The Bible says ‘even a fool, when he holds his
peace, is counted as wise. (Prov.17:28). Whining and complaining never solves
any problem, rather it aggravate it. You may end up slapping, hitting, or
insulting someone with words that cuts through the heart and soul. Anger can
only be sustained when thoughts of the incident is revisited over and over
again due to its temporal nature. So instead of whining and complaining to
cause its growth, try as much as you can to keep calm and silent about
unpleasant situations this week. ‘Wherefore,
my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to
wrath’. James 1: 19.
Let not the sun go down on your wrath
There are times when we actually lose our temper and act in ways that leads to regret and affect our relationship with those we truly love and care about. If you are in such a situation, and you feel sorry for something you shouldn’t have said or done, don’t worry about it. That sorry heart is all that is required for forgiveness from our father in heaven through Jesus our Lord. But here are few things you can do to mend your relationships after an angry incidence.
Forgive and Apologize
If
you are too shy to do this, you can send a text, call whatsup, email or use any
appropriate means available. You may be faultless but just try and find one
thing you didn’t do right and state that clearly in your apology to the person.
The amazing thing about this is that, you will usually find the person also
apologizing for where they went wrong if yours was done in all humility. E.g. Do
not send a message like this “I know you were wrong but I’ve forgiven you…” or
any other message that caries similar attitude as this. Recently, I was working
on a project with someone who was always speaking with an angry tone. We were
all under pressure to make things work and so I understood it. However at some
point, the person used that same tone to lay causeless blames on me when every
single thing I was doing during that period was towards the success of the
project. So I lost my temper and spoke back at him. Afterwards I felt the Holy
Spirit prompting me to make amends. If nothing at all, for the fact that he is
older than me. I did exactly that, and amazingly the person who seemed bored
with me confessed his own weakness to me. That is the power of forgiveness and
Apology. I have done this countless times because I realize that through
forgiveness, I will also be forgiven and in the end treasured relationships
will be preserved.
What is the right time to forgive
and apologize?
After
an angry incidence, do not wait for a long time before you decide to speak to
the person involved. Some people are of the view that, when time is allowed,
all tension will cool down and then you can approach the person; but this is
only based on human wisdom not biblical. When you get involved in an accident,
do you wait for three or even two days before treating your wounds? The same
reason you cannot wait. The Bible says, ‘do
not let the sun go down’. That means,
do not let the day break while you are still angry at someone. Thus today, if
you have been holding grudges with someone for months or even years, take the
opportunity to make a call, send a mail or a text of apology. It might not feel
pleasant but the freedom and healing it will bring to your heart and mind is
worth it!
Ask the Holy Spirit for Help
There
are times when we know we have to forgive and actually willing to but we are
not able to do it. In such cases, you will need to ask the Holy Spirit for
Help. The Holy Spirit is a very wonderful gift God gave to those who have
accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour to help in emotional situations and
issues beyond us. If you have the Holy Spirit, you can experience perfect
PEACE, JOY, HOPE and LOVE etc. even when you are under abuse, hurt, anger or
verbal attacks of any kind. Those who have this presence are able to control
their emotional response to situations either after or before. You can receive
the presence of the Holy Spirit by simply asking genuinely through prayer.
If ye then, being evil, know how
to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father
give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? Luke 11:13
Quote of the week:
Every
relationship counts, either for the saving of a soul or the betterment of a destiny;
don’t let anger destroy it
Baaba Mirekuah
HELPFUL SCRIPTURES FOR ANGER
ANTIDOTE
ü Agree
with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; Mathew 5:23a
ü But
now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy
communication out of your mouth Colosians 3: 8
ü Fathers,
provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Col 3:21
ü For
with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete,
it shall be measured to you again. Mathew 7:2
ü But
I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall
be in danger of the judgment. Mathew 5:22a
ü Judge
not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. John 7:24
